Fun Bit 20120414 - Dunno

News:

Fun:
All these words to essentially say: We have absolutely no idea.

Explains a lot about how people can write 100-page papers for their Masters and PhD.

Fun Bit 014 - Schwarzenegger's Tastes

News: Schwarzenegger slams Terminator Salvation but is open to 'Triplets'

Fun: So he doesn't like shitty action movies but if he gets paid for it, doesn't mind doing a shitty comedy?

Explains his taste in women too. What a disaster.

Source 

Saw this on Facebook. Funny funny. Bastards!

Fun Bit 013 - Jack and Jill

News: 

Fun:
Jack and Jill is so crap, Yahoo refuses to spell Adam Sandler's name right.

On a separate note, that movie really is crap. I'm usually a big fan of Adam Sandler's movies but couldn't even get through 20 minutes of this one.

Having Katie Holmes in there didn't help. Seems she has already hit that age when white women suddenly go from doable to saggy.

Fun Bit 012 - National Day idiots

News:
An article in the my paper dated 30th July 2009 about idiots who'd pay rates of $408-468 a night at Swissotel The Stamford, $780-1800 a night at Mandarin Oriental and $1000-1400 for 2 nights at Ritz-Carlton to watch the National Day parade and fireworks.

Fun:
FFS, who the hell is that damn stupid enough to spend that kind of money on this crap when a better, longer holiday in Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam or even Hong Kong at better hotels can be had for even less money? I just spent 6 nights in Thailand and spent less than $1000 on the whole thing.

I find this so unbelievable I have to wonder whether idiots Long Li Yann and husband Jimmy Liew quoted in the article even exist.

Fun Bit 011 - Bridges for Dummies

News:
This idiotic forum contribution in the my paper dated 11th February 2009 :O
Fun:
1. So the elderly and the physically-disabled can sprint across roads to avoid oncoming cars but they can't climb an overhead bridge? :o

2. More importantly, who the fuck would use the overhead bridges if there are pedestrian crossings just under or within 50m of them?

Fun Bit 010 - Unfortunate Juxtaposition

News:
The 10 most popular stories on the Straits Times website a couple of weeks ago.


Fun:
Nope, the funny part isn't Zhang Ziyi whoring on a beach.

But how the Gods of fate somehow want MPs to be accessible for being set ablaze. I'm surprised this automated most popular articles list wasn't then artificially edited. ;)

Fun Bit 009 - Stealing handbags after sex

News:

Yew Kin Wah, 39, went to Geylang and picked up a 34-year-old China woman for sex on Sept 4. He drove her to an open carpark at Aljunied industrial estate where they had sex outside the car. After sex, he drove off with her handbag containing $600 and a cellphone.

Five days later, he approached a 33-year-old China woman for sex. He took her to the open carpark at Geylang East industrial estate where he made off with her handbag with about $520 after sex.

On each occasion, he had agreed to pay them $50.

His lawyer, Mr Laurence Goh, said his client was having sex with the victims when he did not know that his $1 condoms broke. When the Chinese prostitutes realised that they had had unprotected sex, they were very angry and demanded $50 to a few hundred dollars more as compensation.

When Yew refused to give as he had no more money, the victims started to assault him and refused to let him leave, said the lawyer. So Yew drove off and tossed out their handbags while driving off. But in the case of the two victims, Mr Goh said they had apparently not seen the handbags being hurled and presumed Yew had taken them.

Fun:
1. Not sure who's more pathetic here: Yew Kin Wah or his laywer Laurence Goh for telling this crock of shit in court (and probably coming up with it too).

2. Those Chinese prostitutes are either very careless about carrying a lot of their money around or doing very well every night. Gotta be 10 pops each before they even met up with Yew Kin Wah. That's some loose pussy.

Fun Bit 008 - Babes Suffering

News:


Fun:
Obviously just a typo but the image of 432 babes getting sick off contaminated milk is funny. All that talk about Microsoft buying over Yahoo must have had the staff pretty distracted.

Fun Bit 007 - Gong Li looking for freedom

News:
News broke out about 2 weeks ago that Gong Li, the famous-to-Chinese-speakers actress, had become a Singapore citizen. And last Sunday, the Sunday Times ran an article about how Singaporeans are supposedly divided over this bit of extremely important news.

Extract from this gem of an article:

A Sunday Times online poll reveals that only 36 per cent of the 33 respondents think she should give up her China citizenship.

One netizen, Ramzi, wrote on a forum: 'She probably prefers Singapore because we have more freedom and a better quality of life. I have worked in Hong Kong and China and seen life there. It's definitely much better here.'

Fun:
1. More freedom here than in Hong Kong and China? Ramzi must surely not be referring to media freedom and freedom of expression. So fucking blatantly obvious and transparent.

2. 33 respondents?! That's all the people the Sunday Times could get in a week to respond to their online poll and they think it's worth running a second story? Pathetic.

Fun Bit 006 - Andy Murray the Bitter Idiot

News:
Andy Murray is mad that no Brit has won Wimbledon since 1936 and says nobody will own up to what's happening.


Fun:
Freaking hypocrite. How about him owning up to continuing the poor record since 2005? That's the year he turned pro and he only got to the 3rd round that year. Then he made it to the 4th round in 2006 but missed 2007's Wimbledon, supposedly because he was injured.

And what's this crap about having an autobiography when he's only 21 and hasn't won a major despite being in his 4th year as a pro? Underachievers shouldn't get autobiographies.

Fun Bit 005 - Mickey Roddick

I don't like Andy Roddick. He's a loud-mouth bad loser who really is only semi-funny when he loses. But I'm putting him up on here anyway because I derive great fun from seeing people that I don't like looking like dumbasses.

News:
Andy Roddick attending his own birthday party about a month ago.




Fun:
Seems the photographer thinks as much of him as I do.

Fun Bit 004 - ST puzzled

This is from the Straits Times frontpage two weeks ago. Can't really seem to make up their minds, can they?

MHA had to bail them out a few days later by writing to the ST Forum and clarifying exactly what the Minister meant.




And in that article about how some details about the escape will not be revealed, this gem from Minister of Prison Breaks Home Affairs:

Exposing these details in public will compromise the confidentiality which is necessary for ISD's security and intelligence operations to remain as effective as they have been.

Effective? Didn't seem to me that they were very effective on 27 Feb.

The Singapore brand betrayed

MM Lee commented not long ago that the Singapore brand is about efficiency, integrity and rule of law. Maybe he should have been asked whether he felt the Singapore brand has been betrayed by the debacle of Mas Selamat Kastari's escape on that one Wednesday afternoon.


Efficiency was sorely lacking when Singapore's police force allowed Mas Selamat Kastari, supposedly the most dangerous terrorist in their custody, to escape. The details about how he escaped were only made available on Thursday nearly 24 hours after the escape and those details are absolutely stupefying, ridiculous and hilarious. Especially for Singapore.

It was by no means a clever and intricate Prison Break-style escape. Mas was supposed to be escorted to a visit room because his family members came to visit him. He was allowed to go to the toilet (we will assume he was unsupervised) and escaped from there.

Everybody has watched dozens of movies and TV shows where the bad guy is allowed to go to the toilet on his own and then either commits suicide or escapes. But apparently, the Singapore Police Force did not.

Since the escape, the newspapers have been running stories about the measures being put in place to find Mas, presumably in an attempt by the Government to reassure Singaporeans and show how efficient they are now being. But if they really had been efficient in the first place, we wouldn't be hearing about this on a daily basis for almost 3 weeks now.


Integrity is still lacking. Nearly 20 days after the escape, the Minister of Home Affairs Wong Kan Seng has only offered a short statement of apology.

When it was time for the Ministers' pay raise last year, we heard about how supposedly the Ministers are the sole reason why Singaporean women aren't being exported to other countries to work as maids. They said, forget the thousands of people who work in the Ministries, forget the highly-paid consultants they employ, Ministers are the ones who do it all. If I was working for the government at the time, I'd have been pissed.

But apparently their supreme Minister taking-other-people's-credit attitude is not a "for better or for worse" kind of thing. Because oddly enough, we still haven't heard Wong Kan Seng take personal responsibility for this major screw-up and offer his resignation.

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer not only has pretty good taste in women but has more integrity than Wong Kan Seng. He screwed (literally) up and has resigned, all in less time than has passed since Mas escaped.


Rule of Law is what is saving and will save Wong Kan Seng though. In any other country, the newspapers would have been on his back, pointing out what I pointed out in the previous section of this post.

But in Singapore, the newspapers are just a sad tool wrapped around the government's little finger. They won't ever say anything bad about the government and won't even publish any letter that directly criticises the government.

And that's the price to pay for a stable government.

Fun Bit 003 - Another Gaffe from ST

News: The picture posted on the front page of The Straits Times website on Sunday 3rd Feb 2008. Look closely.


Fun: When they are not making shameless amendments to their own headlines (see Media Freedom) to mislead the unsuspecting public, The Straits Times certainly is a very educational newspaper. In this case, a tit bit too educational.

One day later on 4th Feb, The Straits Times announced an editorial reshuffle supposedly meant to "streamline, strengthen coverage". Funny coincidence?

Fun Bit 002 - Tom Gay Cruise a Nazi

News: (extracted from an AFP article)
German historian Guido Knopp has compared a speech by Tom Gay Cruise to the Church of Scientology with a call to war by Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels.

Mr Knopp, an expert on World War II history, said in an interview with Bild am Sonntag newspaper: 'Tom Gay Cruise's manner calls to mind Goebbels'. The historian was commenting on a video recording of a rousing sermon Cruise delivered to fellow Scientology members four years ago that was recently posted on the Internet.

The Mission Impossible star is seen asking fellow members of the church: 'Should we clean this place up?' Mr Knopp said it was bound to remind Germans of Goebbels' notorious call for 'total war' issued in Berlin on Feb 18, 1943.

'It is possible that the way in which Cruise speaks is common in many empowerment circles in the United States,' he said. 'But the scene in which Cruise asks if the Scientologists should clean up the world and they all respond 'yes' will remind any German with an interest in history of Goebbels' infamous Sports Palace speech.'

Fun:
When will this stupid idiot Tom Gay Cruise learn that his Scientology crap is causing him tremendous damage? Or is the fact that they cover up his gay penchant enough?

Fun Bit 001 - Abe's shit

News:

Japan's former prime minister Shinzo Abe said earlier this week that he quit the post because of severe diarrhoea.

Fun:
So we can finally all agree that he was shit.

Britney Spears madness

Will Britney Spears become the next Anna Nicole Smith? On her current streak, you sure wouldn't bet against it. Looking back at her past romances with Justin Timberlake and Kevin Federline, it's easy to believe she's not right in the head. But since officially booting out Federline, she's been going all out to push it over that beyond-a-doubt line.

The partying with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan and the passing out in public - supposedly from fatigue but then again, heavy boozing tends to bring on fatigue in a major way - have all been documented.

But this story about her checking into a rehab centre only to check out the very next day and then taking Lex Luthor's hairdo on us has left even her biggest fans pretty puzzled.


Meant to post all this last week when the bald story first broke but I went back to Singapore over Chinese New Year and spent all my time watching Smallville's Season 3 and 24's Season 4.

Anyway since then, she has checked into rehab again. And I guess her publicists are pulling in favours from all over the press because I saw at least 2 articles saying how checking back into rehab is turning the wind in Britney's favour. Just how does someone get the wind turned in her favour a few days after shaving her head and essentially putting herself back in a mental institution for the rich? Celebrities eh?

Beyonce on Cover of 2007 SI Swimsuit

OK here's some quirky news.

No, I'm not talking about Beyonce making the cover of the 2007 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit although that is in itself pretty farfetched. I guess they wanted to appeal to the black demographic.

The first quirky bit is that, well, apparently Beyonce's dad, who's also her manager, refused to watch her pose in bikinis. I'd thought he should be used to it by now. Why would he refuse to see her in this bikini when she's in the same state of undress (and sometimes worse) for her promo pics or at her appearances? Or does this mean he never attends her music video recordings or other photo shoots?

The second strange bit is that in the same article, Beyonce claims that she is "a really shy person". Sure she is. She's shy in the same way George Bush is clever.

Wishful Thinking

Here's hoping MI3 bombs and puts a long-overdue end to that short arrogant bastard's career. Won't mention his name cos I don't want to dirty my blog with this type of filth. I won't ever understand how the American people keep supporting this gay's career and yet let the careers of so many other deserving stars peter out.


Also came across this rather funny article on Yahoo Music.

Nick Lachey may be single and looking, but he's not giving starlet Lindsay Lohan so much as a passing glance.

According to claims made by the World Entertainment News Network, Lohan has always had a crush on Lachey, and now that he is back on the market, she is hoping to act on her feelings. However, Lachey made it clear in a recent radio interview that he is not at all interested.

This past Monday, the ex-Newlywed appeared on The Ace & TJ morning radio show to promote his new post-Jessica album What's Left Of Me, which comes out next week. When he was asked if there was any chance he would hook up with Lindsay, he quickly made his feelings (or lack thereof) known by replying, "I can safely say that I don't have any interest in Lindsay Lohan...nor do I understand anyone else that does."

Guess he can't handle a repeat of his situation with Jessica Simpson, i.e. the girl earning more and being more popular than him ... :)