Fun Bit 013 - Jack and Jill

News: 

Fun:
Jack and Jill is so crap, Yahoo refuses to spell Adam Sandler's name right.

On a separate note, that movie really is crap. I'm usually a big fan of Adam Sandler's movies but couldn't even get through 20 minutes of this one.

Having Katie Holmes in there didn't help. Seems she has already hit that age when white women suddenly go from doable to saggy.

Fun Bit 012 - National Day idiots

News:
An article in the my paper dated 30th July 2009 about idiots who'd pay rates of $408-468 a night at Swissotel The Stamford, $780-1800 a night at Mandarin Oriental and $1000-1400 for 2 nights at Ritz-Carlton to watch the National Day parade and fireworks.

Fun:
FFS, who the hell is that damn stupid enough to spend that kind of money on this crap when a better, longer holiday in Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam or even Hong Kong at better hotels can be had for even less money? I just spent 6 nights in Thailand and spent less than $1000 on the whole thing.

I find this so unbelievable I have to wonder whether idiots Long Li Yann and husband Jimmy Liew quoted in the article even exist.

Fun Bit 011 - Bridges for Dummies

News:
This idiotic forum contribution in the my paper dated 11th February 2009 :O
Fun:
1. So the elderly and the physically-disabled can sprint across roads to avoid oncoming cars but they can't climb an overhead bridge? :o

2. More importantly, who the fuck would use the overhead bridges if there are pedestrian crossings just under or within 50m of them?

Fun Bit 010 - Unfortunate Juxtaposition

News:
The 10 most popular stories on the Straits Times website a couple of weeks ago.


Fun:
Nope, the funny part isn't Zhang Ziyi whoring on a beach.

But how the Gods of fate somehow want MPs to be accessible for being set ablaze. I'm surprised this automated most popular articles list wasn't then artificially edited. ;)

Another Thailand screwup

You just had to know it was coming. PAD started it all. And now we've got a group of Thaksin followers, dubbed the Red Shirts, staging a protest in Bangkok.

This all has the potential to turn into a never-ending story that will send the country spiralling out of control.

Apparently the current government granted a five-day-long holiday to the working people to celebrate the New Year. At this rate, there won't be a lot of working people in Thailand pretty soon.

Fun Bit 009 - Stealing handbags after sex

News:

Yew Kin Wah, 39, went to Geylang and picked up a 34-year-old China woman for sex on Sept 4. He drove her to an open carpark at Aljunied industrial estate where they had sex outside the car. After sex, he drove off with her handbag containing $600 and a cellphone.

Five days later, he approached a 33-year-old China woman for sex. He took her to the open carpark at Geylang East industrial estate where he made off with her handbag with about $520 after sex.

On each occasion, he had agreed to pay them $50.

His lawyer, Mr Laurence Goh, said his client was having sex with the victims when he did not know that his $1 condoms broke. When the Chinese prostitutes realised that they had had unprotected sex, they were very angry and demanded $50 to a few hundred dollars more as compensation.

When Yew refused to give as he had no more money, the victims started to assault him and refused to let him leave, said the lawyer. So Yew drove off and tossed out their handbags while driving off. But in the case of the two victims, Mr Goh said they had apparently not seen the handbags being hurled and presumed Yew had taken them.

Fun:
1. Not sure who's more pathetic here: Yew Kin Wah or his laywer Laurence Goh for telling this crock of shit in court (and probably coming up with it too).

2. Those Chinese prostitutes are either very careless about carrying a lot of their money around or doing very well every night. Gotta be 10 pops each before they even met up with Yew Kin Wah. That's some loose pussy.

Pussy Generation

News:
From Clint Eastwood's interview to Esquire a bit more than a week ago:

We live in more of a pussy generation now, where everybody's
become used to saying, "Well, how do we handle it psychologically?" In
those days, you just punched the bully back and duked it out. Even if
the guy was older and could push you around, at least you were
respected for fighting back, and you'd be left alone from then on.

Comments:
Pretty damn true. I'm sick of the constant over-analysing and resulting hypocrisy and ass-licking this world has come to.

Thailand Situation

For more than a week, the just-short-of-terrorist but short-sighted and terribly stupid PAD sent their idiot followers to Suvarnabhumi Airport. And stopped what is essentially the biggest source of revenue for the whole country. And paralysed and dirtied the name of my favourite country.

The main problem is that greed is ruling the minds of the guys in charge and the guys who want to be in charge. Too bad both sides have plenty of idiots around to follow their orders.

And I wish Thaksin would shut the fuck up too. He's only making everything worse. Doesn't he realise by now that there's no way he'll ever get back in power?

Anyway, since the siege stopped, there have been reports of the hotels in Bangkok running at 30% capacity, some luxury hotels even at 10%. Weirdly though, no mentions of discounts anywhere or I could have been tempted.

Fun Bit 008 - Babes Suffering

News:


Fun:
Obviously just a typo but the image of 432 babes getting sick off contaminated milk is funny. All that talk about Microsoft buying over Yahoo must have had the staff pretty distracted.

Fun Bit 007 - Gong Li looking for freedom

News:
News broke out about 2 weeks ago that Gong Li, the famous-to-Chinese-speakers actress, had become a Singapore citizen. And last Sunday, the Sunday Times ran an article about how Singaporeans are supposedly divided over this bit of extremely important news.

Extract from this gem of an article:

A Sunday Times online poll reveals that only 36 per cent of the 33 respondents think she should give up her China citizenship.

One netizen, Ramzi, wrote on a forum: 'She probably prefers Singapore because we have more freedom and a better quality of life. I have worked in Hong Kong and China and seen life there. It's definitely much better here.'

Fun:
1. More freedom here than in Hong Kong and China? Ramzi must surely not be referring to media freedom and freedom of expression. So fucking blatantly obvious and transparent.

2. 33 respondents?! That's all the people the Sunday Times could get in a week to respond to their online poll and they think it's worth running a second story? Pathetic.

Fun Bit 006 - Andy Murray the Bitter Idiot

News:
Andy Murray is mad that no Brit has won Wimbledon since 1936 and says nobody will own up to what's happening.


Fun:
Freaking hypocrite. How about him owning up to continuing the poor record since 2005? That's the year he turned pro and he only got to the 3rd round that year. Then he made it to the 4th round in 2006 but missed 2007's Wimbledon, supposedly because he was injured.

And what's this crap about having an autobiography when he's only 21 and hasn't won a major despite being in his 4th year as a pro? Underachievers shouldn't get autobiographies.

Fun Bit 005 - Mickey Roddick

I don't like Andy Roddick. He's a loud-mouth bad loser who really is only semi-funny when he loses. But I'm putting him up on here anyway because I derive great fun from seeing people that I don't like looking like dumbasses.

News:
Andy Roddick attending his own birthday party about a month ago.




Fun:
Seems the photographer thinks as much of him as I do.

Fun Bit 004 - ST puzzled

This is from the Straits Times frontpage two weeks ago. Can't really seem to make up their minds, can they?

MHA had to bail them out a few days later by writing to the ST Forum and clarifying exactly what the Minister meant.




And in that article about how some details about the escape will not be revealed, this gem from Minister of Prison Breaks Home Affairs:

Exposing these details in public will compromise the confidentiality which is necessary for ISD's security and intelligence operations to remain as effective as they have been.

Effective? Didn't seem to me that they were very effective on 27 Feb.

The Singapore brand betrayed

MM Lee commented not long ago that the Singapore brand is about efficiency, integrity and rule of law. Maybe he should have been asked whether he felt the Singapore brand has been betrayed by the debacle of Mas Selamat Kastari's escape on that one Wednesday afternoon.


Efficiency was sorely lacking when Singapore's police force allowed Mas Selamat Kastari, supposedly the most dangerous terrorist in their custody, to escape. The details about how he escaped were only made available on Thursday nearly 24 hours after the escape and those details are absolutely stupefying, ridiculous and hilarious. Especially for Singapore.

It was by no means a clever and intricate Prison Break-style escape. Mas was supposed to be escorted to a visit room because his family members came to visit him. He was allowed to go to the toilet (we will assume he was unsupervised) and escaped from there.

Everybody has watched dozens of movies and TV shows where the bad guy is allowed to go to the toilet on his own and then either commits suicide or escapes. But apparently, the Singapore Police Force did not.

Since the escape, the newspapers have been running stories about the measures being put in place to find Mas, presumably in an attempt by the Government to reassure Singaporeans and show how efficient they are now being. But if they really had been efficient in the first place, we wouldn't be hearing about this on a daily basis for almost 3 weeks now.


Integrity is still lacking. Nearly 20 days after the escape, the Minister of Home Affairs Wong Kan Seng has only offered a short statement of apology.

When it was time for the Ministers' pay raise last year, we heard about how supposedly the Ministers are the sole reason why Singaporean women aren't being exported to other countries to work as maids. They said, forget the thousands of people who work in the Ministries, forget the highly-paid consultants they employ, Ministers are the ones who do it all. If I was working for the government at the time, I'd have been pissed.

But apparently their supreme Minister taking-other-people's-credit attitude is not a "for better or for worse" kind of thing. Because oddly enough, we still haven't heard Wong Kan Seng take personal responsibility for this major screw-up and offer his resignation.

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer not only has pretty good taste in women but has more integrity than Wong Kan Seng. He screwed (literally) up and has resigned, all in less time than has passed since Mas escaped.


Rule of Law is what is saving and will save Wong Kan Seng though. In any other country, the newspapers would have been on his back, pointing out what I pointed out in the previous section of this post.

But in Singapore, the newspapers are just a sad tool wrapped around the government's little finger. They won't ever say anything bad about the government and won't even publish any letter that directly criticises the government.

And that's the price to pay for a stable government.

Fun Bit 003 - Another Gaffe from ST

News: The picture posted on the front page of The Straits Times website on Sunday 3rd Feb 2008. Look closely.


Fun: When they are not making shameless amendments to their own headlines (see Media Freedom) to mislead the unsuspecting public, The Straits Times certainly is a very educational newspaper. In this case, a tit bit too educational.

One day later on 4th Feb, The Straits Times announced an editorial reshuffle supposedly meant to "streamline, strengthen coverage". Funny coincidence?

Media Freedom

Another bit of news reported and later shamelessly amended by The Straits Times, truly an independent and free newspaper.

Before

After

Can you spot the differences?

More ERP gantries - Government stupidity or greed?

Pasting below the contents of an email that I have just sent to: raymond_lim@mot.gov.sg; janice_quah@mot.gov.sg; mot@mot.gov.sg; cindy_lim@mot.gov.sg; soffy_hariyanti@mot.gov.sg; harold_lim@mot.gov.sg; lok_hong_leng@mot.gov.sg; neo_lay_yiing@mot.gov.sg; jasmine_tan@mot.gov.sg; verene_cheong@mot.gov.sg; evelyn_quek@mot.gov.sg; nazrana_zainuddin@mot.gov.sg

Rather than implementing ERP across the board like what you are doing, you should conduct an in-depth study of what exactly causes the slowdown on the roads and expressways or take a drive around the roads of Singapore.

You would find among other things that:
1. "clever" drivers who continuously zigzag their way through the expressways and other roads cause a significant slowdown behind them as other drivers have to slow to avoid the inconsiderate ones.
2. vans and lorries that jump without much warning into the middle lane of expressways slow down other people behind them.
3. motorcycles that can be seen in virtually every lane of expressways slow down bigger vehicles behind them because the motorcycles often drive in the middle of the lanes, thus overtaking a motorcycle ends up being as much work as overtaking another car.
4. the right-most lane is often not the fastest as vehicles have to use these lanes when they have to turn right into smaller roads. Not all roads in Singapore have a special right-turning lane and often that lane is too short.
5. the biggest slowdowns every morning along the TPE happen:
- from Exit 10 to slightly after Exit 9 due to merging from "clever" drivers who find it faster to take Exit 10 and rejoin the traffic further ahead
- and right after Loyang mostly due to poor road planning as the entrance to the PIE is way too close to the Loyang exit, thus ending up in a big slowdown with drivers along the TPE seeking to join the PIE and drivers from the Loyang exit worming their way to join the TPE towards Changi Airport and the ECP.

Lion Love

Joke Army, Joke Country

Still think that everybody in Singapore is treated the same way?

Well this appalling episode of favouritism towards the PM's son in a case where he clearly pissed on the entire ranking system of the SAF and yet got only a reprimand for his troubles should settle it once and for all. Daddy pulled the strings and got his son an early Christmas present or maybe his birthday was just around the corner.

And it's just very convenient too that he got awarded (we'll say that this was entirely based on merit) the Public Service Commission Overseas Merit Scholarship and will soon jet off to MIT on our tax dollars. This when his daddy is already earning more than $2m a year. I can see how those MIT tuition fees would have dented the lifestyle to which he has become accustomed to.

---------------
Full article from Channelnewsasia.com

The Defence Ministry has formally charged and reprimanded a full-time National Service officer after he contravened orders by broadcasting a letter of complaint to other servicemen.

Second Lieutenant Li Hongyi, who is the second son of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, had apparently sent an email to the Defence Minister to lodge a complaint against another serviceman.

2LT Li is believed to have copied the email to other servicemen who are not directly under his command and are not in an official capacity to deal with the matter.

His action has been a subject of several on-line discussions here.

MINDEF says there are proper channels within the SAF to address grievances or concerns.

And in this incident, 2LT Li is said to have written a complaint against one of his superiors whom he alleged had been absent without leave on two occasions.

According to a statement by MINDEF, 2LT Li had also said in his letter that he had reported the matter to the officer's supervisors but disciplinary action had not been carried out.

MINDEF adds that arising from 2LT Li's complaint, an investigation was conducted and appropriate disciplinary action has been meted out to the officers concerned.

The officer who was found to have been absent without leave will be court-martialled.

Two supervising officers have been issued warning letters for poor judgement in administering inappropriate disciplinary action.

MINDEF says to maintain organisational discipline, all SAF servicemen with complaints or grievances should take them up through proper channels for redress.

This is to ensure due process and to protect confidential information.

All complaints which are not anonymous are investigated and dealt with properly.

Green Trafalgar Square

Trafalgar Square has been covered with grass. This was done as part of a campaign which tries to entice people out of the city centre and into some of the British capital's more rural areas.

Unfortunately, this is being done for just 2 days - from Wednesday night to Friday night. I personally would have liked to have it go on for a couple of weeks or until the end of Summer. But still, it's a neat idea and obviously enough for that campaign to gain some free publicity.

Not too sure where all the pigeons went though.